meeting Bishop Cray over lunch

(I'm posting this and back-dating it so that it fits nicely in the archive)

Last Saturday, Bishop Graham Cray visited Gloucester to talk to the local synod, then, before returning home he met for lunch with a small group of 'pioneers' and people interested in fresh expressions. strangely, I found myself with an invite, so I strolled on down in through the hazy rain towards the cathedral. meeting Dan outside, we jogged eagerly up the stairs to the awesome Parliament Rooms.

Slowly, others joined us, helping themselves to drinks. And before long, the room was bussling with around 20 people all in mini conversations, finding out why on earth they were there. For me, it was good to put some faces to names and hear about so many people wanting to rebirth their expression of church. Most people were very anglican, in that they had been anglicans for most of their Christian lives, so that gave it's own flavour for me, who felt slightly on the edge of things.

(not that denominations all of a sudden matter, its just that they're more obvious, especially when you're in a room of just one)

As lunch came to an end, we sat in a circle in the ancient significant space and introduced ourselves to the whole group. "I'm exploring 24/7 and am looking at the potential of setting up a boiler room in Gloucester" I announced, and upon realising that not everyone understood, and seeing others frowning as if they were thinking 'we're not here to talk about central heating you know', I opened my mouth to explain what I meant before feeling i was wasting my time. Feeling stupid I said "you'll just have to take my word for it"...again, I realised that I'd made a fool of myself and had sounded really rude, so, with a big forced grin on my face, I turned to the person sat next to me, 'over to you'... oh well.

Anyway, apart from that, it was great. Bishop G was said some great stuff - one highlight being "fresh expressions isn't about getting permission to do what you want, where you want because you're bored of church - there is a theological term for it, it's called 'self indulgance..." awesome!

I was chuffed to get introduced to him and have a quick chat about what we're doing. He's gonna help with some research I've been doing as well. Over all, it was a good time and I left with a an enthused skip in my step.

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i saw the Queen...

I strolled down to the docks this morning, and was joined by thousands of others who waited patiently for just a glimpse of the Queen of England. This was a big deal for me, as well as Gloucester. I'm in full support of our English heritage and royalty. Anyway, she sailed gracefully into the docks and back for a tour of Gloucestershire College and the new Quays development. There's lots of good bargains down there.

The Queens visit to the city makes sense of something I saw yesterday. Having dropped off my car at the garage, I walked along the canal into town. On the other side, I noticed this guy propping up a ladder and starting to paint a large wooden wall that made up some kind of derelict warehouse. The whole area is still being developed, and it puzzled me that he was painting something that is going to be pulled down sometime soon, as it wasn't really that bad a condition.

Amongst the crowds today I heard someone saying that there's been a lot of painting going on to make good what has been a little neglected, because the Queen was coming. This made me think - Jesus - the King of kings, will come again. And is, in many ways, already here. we have to present to him even the things that are a working progress. Sometimes we neglect things in our lives, because we know they need a complete overhaul. But, just like the old warehouse, if royalty is coming, it can't be ignored. We have to offer all to Jesus, openly and humbly. We come to our to him just as we are. It also made me realise that sometimes simple and boring tasks are still worthwhile. They help make us fit for our King. They make way for his coming.

On my way home, I walked the same route. There the guy was just about to finish the last bit, having been there the whole entire day. I took the picture below. I admired his perseverance and commitment to the task. But, I didn't realise that he was preparing the way for the Queen to come in. And, it's not the first slogan you'd give the image is it?! Interesting...

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he parted the heavens...

You can check out Psalm 18 for its immenseness. But as the sun appeared to tear the sky with blinding rays of light this morning, I remembered the awesome phrase "He parted the heavens, and came down"...

'For who is God, besides the LORD? and who is the Rock except our God?'

Lord, break free and shine your light through me. Amen.

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24/7 prayer in Gloucester...shire?

I walked around the city this morning, meandering my way through the little streets. round the cathedral, circling the docks. the low and sparkling sunshine danced across the water, warming my face and battling against the crisp fresh air chilling my nose. i took my time. as I walked i tried to pray; just as the sun had burnt off the mist covering the city like a blanket early in the morning, i was praying that God shine his light and would clear my head, bringing clarity and a crisp vision. I tried to surrender to him my thoughts, ideas, many as they are. Especially after yesterday afternoon...

Thankfully, my memory isn't as bad as it could be. Although driving along the winding country lanes as I left the city, I made a few fortunate guesses to bring me in good time to Bishop John's house.

The gathering brought together many of the paid youth workers in the Diocese of Gloucester. Just less than 20 people were there, and I'd been invited to go along and say a little something of 24/7. Strangely, the national youth advisor to Archbishops Council was there too. wow. everyone seemed chilled. but, this was a big deal. he spoke a little about what was happening nationally, then Ben Lillie spoke about 'the rock' - an awesome project in cheltenham that deserves its own post sometime, then it was me.

I spoke about what we've been up to - prayer, community, the weekly prayer café and prayer in schools. I finished thinking that I rambled on too long, and because I'd probably made a mess of it, I asked if anyone wanted to ask questions...and the response was immense! everyone seemed wowed by it all, really encouraging stuff, and I left with a couple of schools to add to my list for prayer weeks, plus some other interesting (big) possibilities and opportunities that could spread what we're doing to other parts of the county - maybe all over it. I'm slightly in a daze. Hence my walk this morning.

But watching the mist disappear gave me hope. God will make his way clear. Good ideas are good, but they are a poison if they don't match what God is doing.

Have your way God. Have your way. Amen.

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vocation vocation...

Although, already it seems a long time ago, when I get the chance, I'm still trying to reflect on the past weekend. After making some fairly big decisions to 'once and for all' go for ordination in pioneer ministry, on Saturday I drove along to Tewkesbury for a day on 'exploring your vocation'.

Settled in the beautiful abbey grounds, about 30 people came together and learnt what the Church of England had to offer. But more importantly than that, we spent time thinking about vocation - which comes from the latin verb 'to call'...we were challenged and inspired to think about God's calling on our lives, and what he might be leading us to. One thing that stood out during the day, was someone sharing about her own vocation as though "it felt like coming home"...I liked that what is it for you that feels 'like coming home' when you serve the Lord?

Sunday saw us walk around the corner to our parish church, to begin a 'placement' (of sorts) at St Pauls. Good times. It's very different (as you might expect) from what we've been doing for the past few years - but actually, in some strange ways, no different at all. There's much to learn, not least becoming fluent in following the liturgy (!), which is confusing at times, but at others, quite beautiful and moving. I'm looking forward to getting to know the lovely people there and to see what God is doing with them...Or 'us', should I say?

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play time and puddings.

Just a quick post to say that one of the biggest prayer requests of our community has been answered...

Last night we all gathered round Ben and Nai's place yesterday for a momentous evening, and played...a nintendo wii !

Amazingly, it came free with a phone deal, and its something we've all thought would help profoundly build community amongst us in deep and beautiful ways. And indeed, last night was a special time. Tiramisu, waffles, chocolate fondu and the wii - what a brilliant idea!

An all round excellent evening.

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bus with wifi, return journey

Walking through the hazy refreshing rain, myself and Jack (who was amazing and let me stay over at his student flat) walked to the bus and then to the tube. The rain helped me wake up a little as I made my way across a very busy Monday morning in central London. Eventually I wound up in the London Centre of Spirituality, for the Day on new monasticism.

Gathered in a small room we learned, discussed and dreamed a little.

As the title suggests, a new kind of monasticism is emerging. But, it became apparent quite quickly that even that label doesn’t do justice to what’s actually happening. When it gets down to it, God appears to be calling his people into a deeper and authentically Christ-like discipleship in community with one another, expressing itself – expressing Jesus – to the world in mission and hospitality…

Full of stories, discussion and meeting some very solid people (was awesome to catch up with the legendary Michael Volland amongst others), the day has been tiring but inspiring. I scribbled notes all over 18 pages of my notepad, and am praying that God sifts the load of information gathered today and leaves me with his divine words.

Lots of good. Lots of questions. Lots of unknowns. Lots of experiments. And lots of lots of prayer to be done.

On a personal note, it was a little weird letting people know that in recent weeks I’ve decided to explore the possibility of becoming an Ordained Pioneer Minister – for real this time. This was my final defining moment of the weekend, as we made the hard decision to leave our small home church (sent out like missionaries) to take the next (big) step on this journey.

As I sit on the bus along this bumpy road and contemplate the day that’s just past and the inevitably bumpy road ahead of me, I feel intrigued, excited, maybe a little dubious at some points and also fairly bewildered at the prospect of being more involved with this. Though I draw great comfort from conclusions like ‘it’s all about Jesus and it’s all for Jesus’.

If we get too bogged down with reflection and dreaming, it would be easy to take our eyes of the big picture. The big picture of Jesus and his will, his plans, and his coming kingdom.

I’ll leave with quite a funny but poignant story from an awesomely joyful Nun. She was probing some questions on the sustainability of our communities, and told the story of fellow Sister who had sadly died last week. She had been a nun for over 60 years, and past away peacefully just one day before turning 100 years old! She died quite satisfied though, believing she had actually celebrated her birthday the week before!!

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on a bus with wifi...

I’m sitting quite uncomfortably with my laptop aptly on my lap, trudging along the Motorway on a National Express Bus on my way to London.

This weekend has been filled with some defining moments for my life. First, our day of prayer was quite special. These times could become very special. ‘ why on earth are we doing this non-stop, and including these crazy hours’ I asked myself as I walked bewildered over to the ‘living room’ at 4.20am. But upon arriving, I knew why. and by the end of my time, I didn’t want to leave. I walked into town as the new day dawned and the sun rose. Awesome.

i was about to complain at how slow our bus has been for the past hour. But we just passed a bad crash, no, make that two. Its kinda humbling. Until this morning I was going to drive here.

This is a my second defining moment. I’m on my way to a day at the ‘centre of spirituality’ on New Monasticism. 30 people gathering to, as the blurb says; “explore new monasticism as a model of church for building mission-centred forms of church for our changing cultures in the UK. This gathering will seek to explore the strengths & weaknesses of this model theologically, missiologically and socio-culturally.”

I've never actually been to something like this, especially to travel to London on my own for it. I feel quite out of my depth. I also have no idea how I ended up with an invite! But am looking forward to listening and learning lots.

We just entered London. My final defining moment, and quite a hefty one, will have to wait for another post sorry. My thoughts are still with those people in the crash. It looked under control. ‘Jesus’ the guy said next to me. ‘yep’, I muttered in reply.

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so many leaves falling,

On further reflection on the story of the prodigal son, I've written the following poem. It's still a draft really, but I hope you like it...

So many leaves falling,
I see them
As I’m waiting,
Watching,
Wishing.

I remember them falling,
I remember,
Again
And again.
They always fall this time of year.

I keep looking,
But you’ve been gone a long time.
Come home my son,
Come home.

Then,
I saw you far away
You left with everything,
Yet return with nothing.
I will come to you,
I am coming.

So many leaves falling,
You stand in the midst of them.
Waiting,
Watching,
Wishing.

I remember telling you;
'All I have is yours',
Again,
And again,
But you run from my embrace.

You are always with me,
But you’ve been gone a long time
Come home my son,
Come home.

Then,
I saw you far away.
You left with everything,
Yet believe you have nothing.
I will come to you, my son,
I am coming.
Come home,
Come home to me.
I am coming.
So many leaves falling.
Will they come back again?

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