I was struck by this challenging question as the C.S Lewis' letters flew out of the page and leapt at me, clasping my attention as my brain struggled to make sense of the sentance whilst being instantly squashed into a collage of contrasting feelings. confronted, defensive, remorseful, slowly submissive, eventually reaching an honest foot of what seemed like a big hill gradually appearing in front of me.
Then, I realised, I love this question. Yes, it may be heart-breakingly challenging. But it’s something I need to ask myself every single day. As I began to contemplate it, I soon began thinking of a very different world view, a different lifestyle, with different actions and perspectives from my own. My woeful concern of struggling to find out Gods will for me, and my life, and my needs, began to fade away as if the sun had risen, putting all that into the shadow of a lonely corner and shining light into a peaceful open space. I realised that if I truly loved God, my list of wants would be easily sidelined to make room for loving others, putting others first, caring for the world and creation, having compassion on even those who interrupt my space and my time, letting things go the way i want things go, enjoying what I have, not thirsting for what I do not have.
Not easy. But it cannot be attained in one day. Like I said, I need to ask it every day, and every small achievement will take me one more stride up that hill.
Talking of hills - here's a picture from my holiday last week. awesome.
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